It was a Thursday night. My girlfriend and I were sitting at the long bar table with our usual group playing Trivia at Ralphies. We have been going almost every Thursday for two months now, so we had a pretty good idea on who the regulars were.
This night, there were a group of three men next to us who were clearly not from the area. They had no idea how to play the Trivia but it didn’t matter, they were just having a good time!
By the end of the night, they were taking bets on which group had the correct answer or would try to help us out the best they could. (Our group did place second that night which was pretty cool!)
Anyway, those three men wanted to get to know the dynamics of our group more so my girlfriend introduced everyone to them. When she got to us she said, “I’m Lindsay and this is my better half Kayla” (she always beats me to the punch, no way am I the better half). The one guy (Mark) asked how long we have been together, and then introduced himself and his group.
It was not a big deal, to him or any of them, that there was a same-sex couple sitting at the bar with them.
Conversation continued and we talked about where we grew up, where we live now (they live in Nevada but were in Findlay for business), our goals, our families, ect. Then they asked how forward Findlay was in regards to the LGBTQ+ community.
The hour-long conversation that would happen next would change the way I looked at myself, the LGBTQ+ community, and society as a whole.
Mark grew up in California and had a gay uncle. However, he did not know that his uncle was gay until he was older. He always knew that his one uncle was married to man and his other uncles were married to women. There wasn’t really a difference to him until someone called his uncle who was married to a woman straight. So, what did that make his other uncle? What was the difference and why did it matter?
After confronting his uncle about it Mark found out that there was a name for him, his uncle was gay. He was happy to have a name for it to be able to point out the difference, but then realized something. It didn’t matter. Just because he fit into a category didn’t mean that he was to be called by that category. He was still his uncle and the only difference this gay uncle brought was that Mark gained another uncle instead of an aunt. They loved who they loved and that was it. Their sexuality was not a big deal. To him, their sexuality was simply not a thing.
That’s right, he called sexuality not a thing.
Now before you take this the wrong way, here me out because he has a good point with this. I know the LGBTQ+ has a history and we are darn proud of it and how far we have come, but what if it wasn’t a thing? I’m not saying that there are no more lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender, pansexual, ect. out there. What I mean is what if who we were attracted to or how we identified didn’t matter because it was the norm?
What if society as a whole did not care or discriminate:
- who we dated
- how we identified
- what our religion was
- what color we were
- where we came from
- ect.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Sexuality should not be limited, and is not a big deal because everyone is (or at least should be) of equal value. Who we love and how we identify should not be a big deal. It should not even be a thing because it is simply who we are.
If I am a girl and like girls but you like boys, good for you. It’s not a big deal. If you are a Baptist and I am a Catholic (just an example, I am not Catholic), cool. We both love Jesus so let’s talk about Jesus or move on in our conversation. Not a big deal. Your skin color is black and mine is white, we both bleed red so what does it matter? Wait, it doesn’t! It’s simply not a thing.
Again, I will emphasize that this is not case in today’s world and I understand why we make our identity and sexual orientations a thing. The LGBTQ+ community is a minority that gets discriminated upon daily. Straight people typically do not have to announce their sexuality because they are the “default” and know that most others are straight as well. On the other hand, LGBTQ+ people have to let their identity be known in order to find others in the community, find allies, and be able to steer clear of those who are strongly against us for our safety.
In the end, why does it have to matter? We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. God made each and everyone one of us unique in our own way to help give back to society and shine for Him. We all make mistakes sometimes but we are also called to forgive and love one another just as the Lord forgives and loves us.
“Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Colossians 3:11-14 (NIV)
It is important to know who you are, know your history, and be proud of it. It is also important to remember that we are all human and some things should honestly not be a thing. It should be the norm.
LGBTQ+ Christians: Yes, you can be both! 